Prince on the white horse or bad boy

I came across a statement: “the prince on the white horse does not exist, because women like bad boys”. Of course when you read a statement, you immediately have an opinion on the matter, whether you utter it or not. I am not for nor am I against this statement, yet I do have an opinion about it.

the-definition-of-a-prince-on-a-white-horseThe definition of a prince on a white horse

Before I can tell you my opinion about this statement, I find it important to define the terms used in the statement. The first one I’d like to discuss is “the prince on a white horse”. This in my opinion refers to the fairy tale prince. The one you see in Cinderella or Snow White, for example. Or in normal people’s terms, it can refer to the perfect man.

The definition of a bad boy

This definition is a bit trickier, because there are different opinions about what a bad boy is exactly. Some definitions could be:

  • A guy who dates multiple women at the same time;
  • A guy who hits women;
  • A guy who doesn’t care about rules;
  • A guy who lives life on the edge;
  • A dominating guy;
  • A guy who is a combination of all or some of the points mentioned above.

the-definition-of-a-bad-boy

Do princes on white horses still exist?

Many women nowadays say that “gentlemen” are a dying breed. This concludes that princes on white horses are also a dying breed. I disagree because of the following reason: what a perfect man is to me can be the definition of a horrible man to another woman. Even though I think perfection is overrated, opinions vary, and that’s a good thing, because otherwise if you find “the perfect man” all your friends would try and steal him from you.

I think that if we look at my definition of a prince on a white horse (the man that is perfect according to your individual standards) then we can conclude that any man has the potential to be “a prince on a white horse”.

Do women really like bad boys?

do-women-really-like-bad-boysIn general, most women do like a man who is (slightly) dominating, because it makes them feel like a real woman who has a strong man beside her. In addition, most women don’t like “boring” men, so they might fall for a man who takes risks or as described above “lives life on the edge”.

This is why I say that a bad boy can easily be your prince on the white horse. Because not because he takes risks or because he is a bit bossy it means that he doesn’t love you or that he won’t do everything in his power to make you feel special.

Choose wisely though and if you see that you like the bad kind of “bad boy”, edit your standards to a better man/husband or potential father of your children.

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Positive sides of nicotine intake

When I was younger, I hated the smell of cigarette smoke and I couldn’t stand the smoke from a cigar. I always wondered why anyone would start smoking, especially since it’s written on (probably) every cigarette pack that smoking can cause cancer.

But recently I’ve been thinking… I was raised in Christianity and Christians are taught that God doesn’t make mistakes. Also, God made everything for a reason. Now bear with me: nicotine is extracted from tobacco leaves. Leaves refer to plants, so nicotine is a biological product. Hence the conclusion: God intended for nicotine to be on earth.

So if nicotine is every bit as bad as people want you to believe, why would God make it?

Nicotine research

Out of curiosity I started googling. And I actually found out that nicotine has quite a few medical uses. Nicotine has a positive influence on many conditions such nicotine-health-benefitsas:

  • Depression;
  • Schizophrenia;
  • ADHD;
  • Pain;
  • Mild cognitive impairment;
  • Tourette’s;
  • Alzheimer’s;
  • Parkinson’s disease.

Nicotine against (unwanted) movement

The first thing that came to mind when I read this list was that most of these conditions include a lot of (unwanted) movement. This came as no surprise to me, because many smokers I know also say that the cigarettes calm them down for example when they’re angry or stressed. I can also picture nicotine helping against depression, because (in cigarettes) it can make you feel drowsy.

Making your mind work better

Many people in the creative business world say that smoking boosts their creativity. Apparently, this is also true. British psychologist David M. Warburton wrote a paper titled “Nicotine as a Cognitive Enhancer”. This paper suggests that nicotine helps with various tasks requiring attention. The benefits to memory are often linked to improvements in attention (if you pay attention to something more effectively, then you’re more likely to remember it), but there are also some suggestions of improvements in memory unrelated to attention.

Nicotine in the brain

So as you see, nicotine has quite a few positive sides. Does this mean that you should start smoking if you’re not a smoker? nicotine-in-the-brainNo, it does not.

If however you want to get nicotine in your brain to take advantage of the positive effects, then the most effective way to get nicotine in your brain (where most effects occur) is by smoking tobacco. One particular reason for this is that smokers can modify their nicotine intake on a puff-by-puff basis (called self-titration of nicotine). Nicotine is then a very suitable drug by which you can get the effect you need at the time you need it, because inhalation with tobacco smoke (or with e-cigarette vapor) brings nicotine to the brain very quickly (actually faster than an intravenous injection).

Conclusion

Smoking is not for everyone. But if you are a smoker, at least now non-smokers can understand why you do this.

Review of the “Maak 2017 jouw beste jaar ooit!” workshop

I am and have always been a big fan of personal development. If I think that a workshop or course will have a positive impact on my life, I do my best to take part in it. This is one of the reasons why I took part in the workshop “Maak 2017, jouw beste jaar ooit!” (Translated: Make 2017 your best year ever). Our host for the evening was Ruth Sinkeler. I had previously taken part in one of her other workshops and thought she was amazing then too.

My experience at the workshop

After having experienced Ruth Sinkeler’s energy and motivation the first time, I had no doubts that this workshop would be educational, inspirational and motivational. After having taken part, I’m happy to say that it was all this and more.

Of course, I will not say too much about the content of the workshop, because you need to take part in it yourself if you want the knowledge. What I can say about it, however is that you will let go of bad habits and bad thoughts and those will make place for new, inspirational ideas. The workshop lets you see yourself: the good, the bad, your hopes, your dreams and so on and so forth. You also get tools for actually realizing your goals/dreams.

The best part was that the workshop was interactive. There was not a dull moment, because it’s not one of those workshops where the host/trainer just goes on and on and all you have to do is listen. You really feel like you’re part of a group of motivated people.

Conclusion

We all have hopes and dreams and for many of us these stay just that: hopes and dreams. However, after taking part in this workshop, you will feel like nothing is impossible. All you have to do is go for what you want. If you work hard and use the tools you get from this workshop, you can make your life great(er) and become (more) successful!

maak-2017-jouw-beste-jaar-ooit-workshop-ruth-sinkeler

PS don’t worry if you missed this edition of the workshop. Just contact Ruth for information about upcoming workshops.

Prognosis for Christmas 2016 in Suriname and cheap gift ideas

As most people know, the current economic situation in Suriname is not very positive. economic-situation-in-suriname-christmas-2016Because of the instable exchange rate in the country and the devaluation of the Surinamese dollar, most people probably won’t have enough money to really celebrate Christmas.

I don’t have a prognosis of the end of the year festivities in Suriname, because that is a tradition in our beloved country. People from all around the world come to Suriname to be here for the festivities around December 31 and January 1.

A sad Christmas

In my opinion, Christmas was never a huge celebration in Suriname. Yet, I feel that this year the celebration will be even smaller. A good example of how it might look can be seen in the Digicel Get Gifted commercial, where the saddest Christmas gifts you can imagine, are exchanged. Making fun of a bad situation is what Caribbean people, and in this case Surinamese people, are great at. This is why we cannot blame Digicel for taking advantage of the situation and twisting it in their favor.

a-sad-christmas

Anyway, I think that Digicel’s portrayal of Christmas 2016 in Suriname might be accurate. Since most Surinamese citizens will not have the money to get expensive gifts, if they want to give someone a present it will probably be something small. Alternatively, we could use the word that’s trending in Suriname “precair” (precarious) to describe how the gifts will be.

Cheap/free gift ideas for Christmas

If you’re not struggling financially, I’m happy for you and I would advise you to take a look at my previous blog with Christmas gift ideas that you can buy online. However, if you live in Suriname and you don’t have a lot of money, then I have some cheap gifts in mind that may be perfect for this upcoming Christmas:

  • A poem;
    cheap-christmas-gifts-a-poemThis is a great Christmas idea because it costs you nothing, but it can still make the person you’re giving it to feel warm and happy on the inside. If you’re not great at writing poems yourself, you can just google some Christmas poems, write the chosen one on a piece of paper and decorate it with colors or stickers.
  • Bake something;
    If you’re good in the kitchen, you could bake someone you hold dear a cake, for example. Maybe you can even decorate it with icing sugar, fondant or butter cream to make it more special. Alternatively, you can bake something else such as profiteroles or cookies.
  • A mixtape;
    No one uses tapes anymore, but you could make a mix-CD for example, for someone you hold dear. Just download this person’s favorite songs and put them on a DVD or a memory stick.
  • Clothes;
    cheap-christmas-gifts-clothesIf the person you want to give a present to likes clothes, you could get them (cheap) clothes. Just go to a Chinese clothing store and pick something out. Alternatively, you can give someone a shirt with a unique print. Just buy a plain shirt, choose a design and bring it to a printing company to get the desired design on the shirt.

I hope this article has made your Christmas expectations a little brighter. If you have any cheap Christmas gift ideas, don’t hesitate to write about it in the comment section.

Perfect Christmas gift ideas

Since Christmas is near, I decided to dedicate this article to Christmas gift ideas. I know there is still about a month before it’s actually Christmas, but you do not want to buy your presents at the last moment because the perfect gift may then already be sold out…

Plan of action for buying the perfect Christmas gifts

  • The first thing you do to get great Christmas gift ideas, is think about who you’re going to buy the Christmas gift for. Seeing as we’re not all the same and we may not like the same things, this is very important.
  • plan-of-action-for-buying-the-perfect-christmas-giftsA good way to see what someone might like is by observing the person. For example, if Sally loves reading and is always talking about how much she loves her Kindle, you could get her an e-book. This might be the perfect Christmas gift for her. Alternatively, maybe Harry is a sports fanatic, then, depending on the sport he loves, you can get him a sporting item.
  • When you have thought about the kind of thing that this specific person might like, then you can filter further in that category to pick a specific Christmas gift. It is not that difficult to pick something if you have observed the person. That is why I advise you to start planning your Christmas shopping early.

Christmas gifts for book lovers

christmas-gifts-for-book-loversSince I gave an example about a woman who loves to read, it is only fitting to start with Christmas gift ideas for book lovers. There are many books out there, so how do you find the right book? An easy way to find a good book for someone who reads from a kindle, for example, would be to filter on bestselling kindle edition books.
A few examples are:

Technology as a Christmas present

Since it is logical that not everyone likes reading, let’s explore some other Christmas gift ideas. Nowadays there are many advances in technology. This makes electronics an awesome Christmas gift idea. Depending on what you hear your friends or family talking about, you can choose from different categories in electronics. In my opinion, you can’t go wrong with a good speaker, because most of us love digital entertainment. Whether it’s movies, music or games, we like to entertain ourselves and others. Why not crank up the technology-as-a-christmas-presentvolume then with one of the following (smart) items:

If the person you want to surprise with the perfect Christmas gift likes new advances in mobile phones, you may want to choose from one of the following popular phones or phone accessories:

Photography Christmas gifts

Another hot Christmas gift idea is to give someone a camera. Photography is becoming more and more popular, so you can easily surprise someone who like to appreciate all the beauty around him/her with one of these photography Christmas gifts:

photography-christmas-gifts

Video games or video game accessories as the perfect Christmas gifts

Back in the day people thought that video games were only for kids. Nowadays we see a different trend. Young and old all play video games together. Why don’t you surprise someone special with a video game or video game accessory as the perfect Christmas gift? I would advise you to get one of these:

video-games-or-video-game-accessories-as-the-perfect-christmas-gifts

Or how about a controller? For playing games with your crew, these are always handy:

perfect-christmas-giftsObviously, there are many more Christmas gift ideas, but I think that with these examples you have a pretty good idea what you can surprise your loved ones with.

Check out the links and give your friends, family and loved ones the perfect Christmas gifts!

The social acceptance of the LGBT community in Suriname

A good friend of mine asked me to write about a subject with a bigger social impact. She gave me some examples and I decided to write about the social acceptance of the LGBT community in Suriname. Since I don’t have much information on this subject, I did some research.

LGBT in Suriname accepted or not?

Most people know that the LGBT community in Suriname is growing each year, because more and more people are cominglgbt-in-suriname-accepted-or-not “out of the closet”. I think that this is proof that more people are becoming open minded about this.

Yet, as I read in an article about the church’s opinion there is still a large group that does not accept the LGBT community in Suriname. This is understandable, in my opinion, because the church teaches that a woman is made for a man and there are no variations on the rule. So obviously, they have a problem with male-male or female-female relationships.

Varying opinions

The coming out week in Suriname was held in October this year. In an interview, they asked some people if they consider LGBT rights as human rights. The opinions varied from “yeah, I guess so” to “well, they are people but they do not have the same rights as ‘normal people’” and even “hell no, that’s just not right”.

varying-opinions-lgbt-rights

I say, everyone is entitled to have an opinion. I personally think we should all just respect each other. Whether we’re straight, gay, bisexual or anything else. If you don’t like a certain group, that’s fine. Then stay out of their way as they will most likely stay out of yours too. We’re all people and we need to stop the hate in the world if we want a better future for our children and if we’re lucky, we may just live to see the day when the world is a better place.

What if your partner doesn’t put as much effort into the relationship as you do or you want different things?

I was watching the TV show “Friends”. In one of the episodes Phoebe and Mike broke up because Mike never wanted to get married again and Phoebe did want a marriage someday. I started thinking: it often happens that people who are in a relationship sometimes don’t want the same things. At the same time, even if they do want the same things, the effort is often not the same.

What do you do when your partner doesn’t put as much effort into the relationship as you do?

This is a good question, if you ask me. Some people would say that if you put more effort into your relationship than your partner, you should split up. Or that you should make your partner jealous so he/she feels how much their life would suck without you in it. Obviously, this is the negative approach. A more optimistic or hopeful approach would be to think that maybe your partner isn’t as good at showing his/her feelings as you are. Perhaps your partner loves you even more than you love him/her, but you can just show it better. In my opinion, that’s a lame excuse.

what-do-you-do-when-your-partner-doesnt-put-as-much-effort-into-the-relationship-as-you-do

It doesn’t take much to show a person that you care about him/her. If you can’t write poetry or you don’t have the money to spoil your significant other, you could, for example:

  • Go to his/her workplace or home and just surprise him/her;
  • Alternatively, you pick a flower from your (neighbor’s) garden and you bring it to him/her;
  • Maybe you just plan a romantic dinner with candlelight or a movie night for the two of you so you can just be close to each other.

People often think that it’s the big things that matter, when in fact the little things make a big difference.

there-is-no-such-thing-as-the-right-momentIf you’re waiting for the right moment to do something, let me tell you something: there is no such thing as the right moment. Not to be negative, but who says you’ll even be alive tomorrow? Do the little things. Show your partner every day that you love him/her. This could be as simple as writing a text message saying “good morning beautiful” or “you are the light of my day”. If you don’t know what to write/say, Google “romantic stuff to say to your significant other. Trust me, you’ll find a lot of examples.

Don’t wait for the right moment, the right amount of money or the right anything. Show how you feel now. Don’t just say “I love you” but truly let the person feel that you mean it!

What if the effort is there but you want different things?

This question is what actually got me started with this blog, so of course I should also address it. If you want different things, I think there are three options:what-if-the-effort-is-there-but-you-want-different-things

  • Take it as it is and see if one of the partners eventually changes his/her mind;
  • Talk about it and try to see where you can compromise;
  • Accept that it will never change and break up.

I can’t tell you which of these is the best alternative for your relationship, because every situation is different. However, I think communication is very important and if you really love each other, you might be able to reach a compromise.

The cycle of life and the system we follow

I was recently driving home from work and there was a lot of traffic. Out of boredom, I turned my head to the side of the road. There, I saw a primary school. Then, I looked to the other side of the road and saw a graveyard. I drove a little further and saw a church. Then I got to thinking about the cycle of life and “the system”.

The cycle

It is all very simple, actually. We are born, we go to school, we work, we do all the things “the system” wants us to do and then we die. This may seem a little extreme, because in the meantime, a lot can happen, but essentially this is the pattern we all follow.

The system

the-system-we-followWhen we are babies and toddlers, we have many unique ideas. As a baby, we can’t express these, because we can’t talk (well) yet. As a toddler, we express (almost) every thought but are often not taken seriously. Then the programming starts and we stop expressing our thoughts and feelings because we adjust to the system. We are taught how to eat “correctly”, how to address older people, etcetera. This all falls under “good manners” and “respect”. But often, our elders are confusing us, without even knowing they are doing this.

Take a student for example. We are all taught to fight for our rights and not to let ourselves get pushed around. Yet, if the teacher says the answer to a difficult mathematical problem is zero for example and we can see that this is wrong, the teacher might get angry at us for correcting him/her. Granted, not all teachers are like that. However, there are also other times when “respect” is the reason why we do not come up for our rights. We are programmed to respect elders, which is essentially not a bad thing. Nevertheless, when this “respect” comes in the way of our rights, we do have a problem, in my opinion.

Programmed

If you look at it, every person and every animal is programmed to think and behave in a certain way that is natural to us. Take an animal and its young for example. When there is danger near the cub, the mother (and sometimes father as well) will get rid of the threat to protect her young.

programmed-the-system-conspiracy-theory

The programming in humans does not differ that much from that in animals, because from the time we are young we see what happens around us and adjust to what seems normal. Many women who are born in a western society might get chills (in a bad way) if they were asked to live a life of polygyny (a man marrying multiple women). This is actually very normal in some countries. The even stranger version of this kind of lifestyle is polyandry, where a woman may marry multiple men.

It actually doesn’t even matter how we are programmed, the fact of the matter is, we all are.

My thoughts

my-thoughts-the-system-programmed-conspiracy-theoryWhether we like it or not, we are born into a system that teaches us how to think and behave. Yet, we all have free will, which means that we can decide to get out of that lifestyle and choose a different path. As we have seen, there is a cycle of life. So whichever path we choose for ourselves, at some point we will all just go through the motions and die.

Live your life how you think will make you the happiest and if you want to get out of the system you were born in take the step and do so. Life is too short to live it the way someone else wants you to.

My thoughts on the movie “Broken Vows”

I recently saw the movie “Broken Vows”. I hadn’t watched the trailer before watching the movie, so I didn’t know what to expect. Obviously, based on the name of the movie, I had a hunch what it would be about. I thought one or both partners, who were married to each other, cheated. When the movie started and I saw the woman washing off the blood of the ring, I thought, “Oh, so the husband must’ve cheated and the wife killed him.” However, as the movie was playing, it became clear that there was an entirely different storyline than I anticipated.

Homewrecker and revenge?

homewrecker-and-revenge-broken-vows-2016In the beginning of the movie, Tara is in a club or bar with her friends. A waitress walks over and Tara and her friends are pretty rude to her. One of Tara’s friends says, “that waitress looks just like the homewrecker”. So obviously, I’m thinking a woman who looks like that slept with Michael, Tara’s husband, and that’s why she killed him. As Tara starts flirting with Patrick, I think that’s a way to get over her husband who she killed. It turns out that one part of my hunch is correct, because Tara is flirting to get back at Michael, only in that part of the storyline, nothing bloody has happened yet.

Bad advice from friends

Tara eventually goes back to her friends and they have a fun night. When she’s outside, her friends see Patrick the bartender standing outside. They encourage her to talk to him. She doesn’t want to but they tell her that she was already talking to him anyway so she should do so again. In my opinion, if your friends know you’re engaged they shouldn’t encourage you to go talk to a “hot guy”, knowing it can lead to you cheating. So either these are bad friends, or they just give bad advice…

bad-advice-from-friends-broken-vows-2016

Psycho in love

Patrick hears the girls talking and walks over to Tara. He doesn’t ask for her number but just takes her phone and dials his number so he has her number and she has his. Some would say this is dominant male behavior, but I honestly think that’s creepy. Anyway, the story plays out, eventually Patrick sleeps with Tara, she realizes she made a huge mistake and wants to leave. Patrick tells her that he thinks she’s special and shows her that he tattooed her name on his arm. She, as a sane person, thinks this is psycho behavior and leaves. She accidentally leaves her phone behind and that’s where the psycho in Patrick starts coming out. He goes to her hometown and stalks her, even though he found out by then that she is engaged to Michael.

psycho-in-love-broken-vows-2016

My thoughts

Tara made a big mistake cheating on Michael. Even though he did the same, it doesn’t make it right to also cheat. If you don’t want to be with the person anymore and you can’t forgive them for what they did, break up. Don’t try to hurt them in the same way they hurt you. In doing so, you’re hurting your significant other but at the same time, you lose all of your self-respect, because now you’re no better than the person who hurt you in the first place. Tara got to know that the hard way, because a lot of bad things followed after her “slip-up”. Although this is only a movie, these things can actually happen in real life too, because there are psycho’s out there and from looking at a person, you usually can’t tell when they’re psycho or not. And even if they aren’t you’ll lose all your self-respect if you do something like this…

The movie itself is worth watching though. It’s a pretty interesting storyline…

What “that” is in “I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that)”

I was watching the movie “Sausage Party” and at a certain point in the movie they played the song “I’d do anything for love ” by Meat Loaf. I’ve heard the song before but never really dug deeper even though it did peak my curiosity.

Why “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” peaked my curiosity

Concluding from the search results, this song has made other people wonder what the song is about as well, seeing as the singer makes it clear that he will do anything for love, even “run right into hell and back”. If I hear this in the first verse of the song, of course I will wonder what “that”, the one thing he won’t do for love, is.

Researching what “that” in “I’d do anything for love” is

researching-what-that-in-i-would-do-anything-for-love-isTo stop my mind from overthinking and to be sure I had the right answer, I googled the meaning of “that” in the song “I’d do anything for love”. I found an article where Meat Loaf explains his most misunderstood lyric. In this article, Meat Loaf notes that when he spoke to the writer of the song (Jim Steinman) about “that”, he told Jim that people aren’t going to know what “that” is. Jim in return said, “Of course they are. How can they not?”

Well Jim, I don’t !

Anyway, reading further, because I think the interviewer also didn’t know what “that” was, Meat Loaf explains that “that” is the line before every chorus. Obviously, this made me dig a little deeper and look for the lyrics.

The lyrics to “I’d do anything for love” by Meat Loaf                      

So now I looked for the lyrics to the song “I’d do anything for love” and of course, I found them. The next step was looking which line comes before every chorus.

The first one I found was:

But I’ll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that
No, I won’t do that

If we look at the explanation, he won’t do the last thing before the chorus, which in this case is “I’ll never forget the way you feel right now”. This makes me confused, because that makes the sentence a double negative, which means he says, “I won’t never forget the way you feel right now”. This translates to “I will forget the way you feel right now”.

The next verse is less horrible if you look at the double negative there: “But I won’t never forgive myself if we don’t go all the way, tonight”. This means he’ll forgive himself if they don’t go all the way tonight.

There’s another way of looking at this though. If you ignore the double negative and you scratch one of the negatives, the song is pretty romantic after all.

things-meat-loaf-will-not-do

At the end of the song, on the other hand, I agree with the things he won’t do:

After a while you’ll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night’s fling
And you’ll see that it’s time to move on
I won’t do that

I know the territory, I’ve been around
It’ll all turn to dust and we’ll all fall down
Sooner or later you’ll be screwing around
I won’t do that

If you really love someone, you won’t forget about that person easily, you won’t consider the love a fling and you also won’t move on easily. At the same time you won’t screw around if you were/are really in love…

My conclusion

Of course, there are more verses to the song but I won’t discuss them all. I think the point is clear: this song is controversial. If you look at it from the double negative point of view, the song is not romantic at all. I say this, because where Meat Loaf says that he would do anything for love, there are many things he is not willing to do. Some of the things he – in a double negative way – says he won’t do are things that are a normal part of being in love such as dreaming of the one you love. There are also, as my previous paragraph suggests things that I completely agree with. At the same time, if you scratch the double negative, the song is actually very romantic…

meat-loaf-would-do-anything-for-love-but-he-wont-do-that

But hey, this song is a classic so I won’t judge it too much. I now know what “that” in “I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that)” is now, so I can peacefully go on with my day.