I watched the series finale of Switched At Birth and it was amazing. One thing in particular stuck with me. Bay’s dad didn’t approve of her career as a tattoo artist, or so it seemed.
What parents want and how they behave
Most of us have experience this: we are passionate about something, but it doesn’t follow the path our parents panned out for us. Mostly, our parents mean well, but we just see it as them blocking us from our destiny. For both parties, this is almost impossible to comprehend.
The thing is children grow up. No one can do anything to stop this from happening. Not even parents. Yet, parents will keep trying to protect their children by whatever means they deem necessary. If the child is, as the parents call it “stubborn”, this will result in many fights between the child and the parent. Some young adults may then start to rebel, which only results in more fights.
How to change this vicious cycle
It will not be easy, but there is a way to change the vicious cycle. By doing so you can achieve a healthier relationship with each other.
- Parents and children, the first thing to do is to try to understand each other.
If you are a parent, try to put the protectiveness aside for a while and just listen to your child. Be respectful. If you are the child, talk calmly and be open with your parents. Explain what you want and be respectful towards your parents.
- Parents do not belittle your child’s dreams.
If a young adult is passionate about something, they most likely have already figured it out (partially) because they know how you as a parent will react. Giving advice is not a bad thing, but don’t dismiss everything your child had already worked out in his or her head.
- Children have a plan.
Mostly, when you are passionate about something, you aren’t open to reason. If you want something badly and it doesn’t align with what your parents had in mind for you, it usually means that what you want is “out of the box”. This isn’t a bad thing, but explain to your parents exactly what your plan is, so that they don’t have to worry about you as much.