Falling in love or being in love with the theory of love

I read a text on Facebook about actually falling in love and being in love with the theory of love. I have mixed emotions about this. To be specific, the text said:

Everyone wants to fall in love. But I think more people are in love with the theory of love. If you’re looking in from the outside, it looks so beautiful. On the inside, it’s scary because it can take over your life. It’s the strongest emotion but also the darkest. It can put you on a high for days, but it can wrap an anchor around your feet and drown you in less than a minute.

The good things about actually being in love

While reading this, I concluded that someone has hurt the author of this text, Calia Read. Because real love is actually a thing of beauty. Now, I’m not saying there won’t be fights and drama, but if the love is real and strong and comes from both sides, you can work through those issues. With good communication, it doesn’t have to feel like an anchor around your feet that will the-good-things-about-actually-being-in-lovedrag you down. If the love is real, then after a fight, when you’re both calm again, you can look each other in the eyes and feel the “butterflies” again. This is metaphorically speaking of course, but you get my point.

At the same time, when there are no fights and you are in love, you feel a “happy bonus”. Yes, I purposely did not say that you feel “complete” because from what I’ve learned in life, you should be complete by yourself. Finding someone who loves you is an added bonus. Like the text suggests, this added bonus can put you on a high for days. That part I completely agree with.

The bad things about being in love

My title to this part is actually wrong. It’s not the bad thing about being in love, it’s being in love with the wrong person. Because if the person is wrong for you, this will feel like you’re drowning. There are actually many ways in which someone can be wrong for you, The-bad-things-about-being-in-lovesuch as (s)he’s married or already spoken for, (s)he doesn’t want to “do the relationship thing” at the moment, (s)he doesn’t love you back… There are more examples, but I think you know in which direction I’m going with this. So when you’re in love with the wrong person, this will definitely hurt you.

There is a very small (like 0,01%) chance that it still works with someone who is wrong for you, but that means that either you will have to revise your expectations (for example be willing to “share” him/her with his/her wife/husband or willing to wait till they’re ready for a relationship etc.). This is all just hopeful thinking and can actually ruin your life.

To love or not to love, that is the question

Love is a beautiful thing if handled correctly. So my advice would be: LOVE!

You may get hurt in the process, you may fall in love with the wrong person, you may even fall in love with the right person (at that moment) and still have your heart broken, but once you find your true real love, you will feel and see the beauty of it all. And then all the heartbreaks will just have been lessons for your true “forever”.


Note: your true real love may not be your “physical type” at all. When you feel the trueness of the love, you will know though. Have faith in that.


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