How to deal after a breakup with someone you loved a lot

I recently read a few breakup texts on Facebook and two of those caught my attention. I read them both again and think that they are follow-ups of each other…

The first part of losing someone

The first one, which in my opinion, points to right after a breakup said:

Losing you changed me. I’ve been quiet and quick-tempered. And when I’m shown concern I’m blunt or allusive. I avoid my friends. Drink too much. And I don’t recall when I last felt moved by someone. I lost you. That I understood. I just didn’t think I’d lose me too.

The first part of losing someone

This is something most of us will not (want to) admit. Of course, I can’t say that this happens after every breakup, but if you really loved the person, there’s a big possibility that this has happened to you as well.

It’s just how you look at it, I suppose. Because some of us may not agree to having lost ourselves, but we do deal with breakups in a very similar way: we push other people away, we drink a lot, we don’t feel anything for anyone else/ we feel empty. All of this points to losing yourself as a person, whether you’d like to admit it or not.

After having found yourself again

The next text I read, in my opinion, is the “next chapter of your breakup story”. This is the part where you feel stronger and think that you have found yourself again. This text said:

If we ever meet again it will be as strangers. You haven’t met this new me; the way my eyes view the world has changed, the way they see you has as well. You won’t recognize this new look, or the reflection. I’m a different animal now. One of the greatest things about this transformation: I no longer give a f@#k what I look like to you.

After having found yourself againAlthough this one points to having moved on already, I still feel that the way it is phrased points to the person still holding on to the past. The whole speech is fine and empowering, talking about having transformed, etc. except for the last sentence. That part refers to not caring what the ex thinks, but the fact that it has to be written down, points to actually still caring. At least, in my opinion…

So how do we deal?

I think that if we go through a breakup with someone we really loved something inside of us will definitely (temporarily) change. This does not mean that we have to stay broken/changed. We can find ourselves again and rebuild the pieces to become whole once wall around your heartmore.

Just promise yourself this: “Even if I’ve been hurt/ lied to/ cheated on (or whatever) I will not build a wall around my heart.” Because in building that wall around your heart, you’re also preventing someone who does want to do good by you and actually love you, from getting in. Then you will stay alone, wondering why you’re not loved/good enough, when in truth you are priceless and someone who sees that value does try to love you right.

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