Poems about everything

Today, I have decided not to write about anything specific, but to devote this post to poetry. Something I read inspired me: “Poetry is not dead. It is alive in the minds of those who feel, instead of think” – N.R. Hart.

Although I do not think a person should just feel and ignore what the mind says, feelings do make good poetry. Therefore, here are some of my own creations that I made especially for this post. I tried to vary in the poem-subjects and I hope I succeeded. Enjoy!

Self-caused pain

Poems describe what we feel
although what we feel isn’t always real.
Sometimes we make ourselves see what isn’t there
which hurts us in the end and isn’t fair.

self-caused-pain-poem

Feelings of love

I’m here for you and I always will be
because I know, you were made for me.
Whether this works or not, let’s not rush it
we both know we’re a good fit.
Friends, lovers, whatever we call this deal
with you by my side I will always feel.
Good, bad, my emotions are on high alert
we’re solid as long as we both feel heard.

Everything happens for a reason

We do not always understand what happens to us
sometimes it feels like we’re thrown under a bus.
But everything happens for a reason
and usually the pain only lasts for a season.

everything-happens-for-a-reason-poem

Parents

Sometimes they frustrate you to the point of breaking
there is no use in faking.
Parents always (think they) know best
but use your head and put it to the test.
They usually mean well, I’m sure they do
but in life you just got to be you!

A true friend

A true friend is super cool
but will also tell you when you’re being a fool.
Sometimes a hard smack on the cheek
means that (s)he loves you and wants you to get back on fleek.

a-true-friend-poem

Unexpected true love

I believe in the existence of true love
the kind that was sent from up above.
Yet do not get this confused because the person may surprise you
your true love can come from a sibling, parent, friend, it’s just what they do.

The mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall
you look a lot like me after all.
We’re so much alike it’s scary
you’re just a little more hairy.
Feel my touch, hear my voice,
you are my one and only choice.

the-mirror-poem

If my poetry inspired you, feel free to write a poem of your own in the comment section.

The do’s and don’ts of a successful friendship with your ex

I read an article (in Dutch) about whether or not it is possible to stay friends with your ex. The article suggests that theoretically this is possible but that in reality this usually doesn’t happen. I guess it is pretty difficult to just be friends with someone for whom you felt real love at some point. However, if both parties are willing, I think a friendship can actually work.

Things you need to consider

If the two concerning parties have a good understanding of what is or isn’t acceptable, I believe a friendship can work. In this case you have to think of the following:

  • Do I still have strong feelings for him/her?
  • How will it make me feel if I see him/her with someone else?
  • Am I trying to get back together with him/her?
  • Do I (still) have sexual urges towards him/her?

Strong feelings for your ex

If you still have strong feelings for your ex, a friendship will most definitely not work out. I say “strong” feelings, because I think that if you really had a love connection with someone, you will always have some feelings for that person.

Negative emotions at the thought of seeing your ex with someone elseIf you’re over them then you can cope with the feelings that are left and still make rational decisions. On the other hand, if you still have strong feelings for this person, you might do something stupid like try to sabotage their new relationship. This is why you should evaluate your own feelings first.

Negative emotions at the thought of seeing your ex with someone else

Now, if you’re sure that you don’t have strong feelings for your ex anymore, you need to consider how you will feel if you see him/her with someone else. If the thought of seeing your ex with someone else scares you, makes you nauseous or just makes you angry, do not try to be friends with him/her.

Trying to get back together with your ex

Trying to get back together with your ex by befriending him/her is the worst idea ever, especially if he/she doesn’t know that this is your ultimate goal. I say this because if you befriend someone, in this case your ex, they may tell you things in confidence. For example, they tell you what a potential new partner did wrong. You will obviously use this information to your advantage. When your ex finds out, he/she will feel betrayed and you can kiss getting back together goodbye.

What if the sexual urges towards your ex are still present?

Let’s say you’ve past the first three tests: you do not have strong feelings for your ex, seeing him/her with someone else would not have a negative impact on you and you are sure that you’ve accepted the situation and are not trying to get back together with him/her. In this case you also need to evaluate if you still have sexual urges towards him/her. This is important because the line between friends and friends with benefits is thin. Yet, being friends with someone usually means a lot more than being friends with benefits.

sexual urges towards your ex are still present

If you still have sexual urges towards your ex, you may be tempted to make a move on him/her again. If he/she denies you access, this will open a whole new wound in your ego (and heart). At the same time if you and your ex hang out, he/she gets intoxicated, and you take advantage of that, your ex may never trust you again. Then you can say goodbye to the friendship as well.

So how can it work?

In my opinion being friends with your ex isn’t easy, but it is possible if:

  • Friends with your ex succesfullyBoth people are aware of each other’s intentions
  • You don’t have a problem with the points mentioned above
  • You both just want the other person to be happy, even if it’s with someone else.

Important notes

Take into consideration that being friends with an ex may be awkward at first. You don’t know how to react to certain situations or what to say to certain points. Nevertheless, the awkwardness does go away eventually if you can genuinely just be friends.

In addition, it is possible that while being friends you’re your ex, some feelings may come back. Know how to deal with these and make them discussable.

Remember that your new partner may not be too thrilled to know that you’re still hanging out with your ex. They may feel threatened, but with good communication, it is possible to make him/her understand the situation. If he/she doesn’t you need to think about what means more to you: your friendship with your ex or your new relationship. Choose wisely.

How to get rid of writer’s block

Everyone who likes writing, whether it’s stories, blogs, poetry or whatever, has at some point had writer’s block. This is because writer’s block is very common. You just sit there and think, “Ugh I want to write but I have nothing to write about!” In my opinion, there are relatively simple ways to get rid of writer’s block. Today I will write about 5 of these.

  1. Go outside get rid of writer's blockGo outside to get rid of writer’s block

Writers often write inside, in a dark room to keep their creativity contained so they can effectively release it on paper. If you have writer’s block, you can just go outside. Sit under a tree, for example and look around you. Look at the skies, the trees, the grass, cars passing by; it doesn’t matter what you look at. When you are focused on whatever you’re looking at, this can spark new ideas so you have something to write about.

  1. Close your eyes to get rid of writer’s block

If looking at whatever is going on around you isn’t working, then do the exact opposite: close your eyes. There are a lot of thoughts going on in our head that can spark ideas. Sometimes we just need to listen to “all the voices in our head”.

If you don’t have a million and one thoughts in your head, closing your eyes is also a good way to focus on your other senses. Try smelling what your neighbor is cooking, smell the shampoo that you washed your dog’s hair with, if you’re a smoker smell the nicotine in your own breath… There are a lot of ideas that can be sparked by your sense of smell. The same goes for your sense of touch. So close your eyes and get rid of writer’s block.

  1. Write about something that happened to someone else to get rid of writer’s block

People are social creatures and like to share stuff about themselves. If you’re a writer, you can think of something someone told you and for example, write what you think of that situation. As a good friend/ family member, you should not mention who the post is about though, especially if the person told you something in confidence.

Write about something that happened to someone else to get rid of writer's block

  1. Listen to music to get rid of writer’s block

Music can be about love, hate, happiness, anger, death, the ghetto… you name it and it’s in a song. Randomly listening to music can help too. There are multiple approaches to this point though:

  • Listening to classical music or instrumentals can calm down your mind if this is racing and you can’t write correctly due to the “noise in your head”
  • Listening to the lyrics of songs can also spark ideas to get rid of writer’s block
  • Listening to your favorite songs from when you were little, can also activate some memories of your childhood, which in turn, can create writing topics.

Listen to music to get rid of writer's block

  1. Go on social media to get rid of writer’s block

When you’re trying to focus, social media is a horrible idea. It can get you sidetracked. At the same time, if you’re looking for inspiration due to writer’s block, social media can be a big help. You could maybe see a funny video that gives you writing topics. You can read some of the many quotes your friends posted on their walls/ that they tweeted about. In my case, this works great for me. Sometimes even when I’m not in writing mode, posts in my Facebook newsfeed spark some writing topics in my head.

Choose what works for you to get rid of writer’s block

Obviously, there are many ways to get rid of writer’s block. In addition, what works for me, may not work for you. However, this is exactly what makes us creative. Life would be boring if we were all the same. So do what you have to do to get rid of your writer’s block. Just make sure to keep writing. Don’t let the writer’s block win!

I read some other creative solutions to get rid of writer’s block on another website.

Some books with solutions to writer’s block are:

books with solutions to writer’s block

How to deal after a breakup with someone you loved a lot

I recently read a few breakup texts on Facebook and two of those caught my attention. I read them both again and think that they are follow-ups of each other…

The first part of losing someone

The first one, which in my opinion, points to right after a breakup said:

Losing you changed me. I’ve been quiet and quick-tempered. And when I’m shown concern I’m blunt or allusive. I avoid my friends. Drink too much. And I don’t recall when I last felt moved by someone. I lost you. That I understood. I just didn’t think I’d lose me too.

The first part of losing someone

This is something most of us will not (want to) admit. Of course, I can’t say that this happens after every breakup, but if you really loved the person, there’s a big possibility that this has happened to you as well.

It’s just how you look at it, I suppose. Because some of us may not agree to having lost ourselves, but we do deal with breakups in a very similar way: we push other people away, we drink a lot, we don’t feel anything for anyone else/ we feel empty. All of this points to losing yourself as a person, whether you’d like to admit it or not.

After having found yourself again

The next text I read, in my opinion, is the “next chapter of your breakup story”. This is the part where you feel stronger and think that you have found yourself again. This text said:

If we ever meet again it will be as strangers. You haven’t met this new me; the way my eyes view the world has changed, the way they see you has as well. You won’t recognize this new look, or the reflection. I’m a different animal now. One of the greatest things about this transformation: I no longer give a f@#k what I look like to you.

After having found yourself againAlthough this one points to having moved on already, I still feel that the way it is phrased points to the person still holding on to the past. The whole speech is fine and empowering, talking about having transformed, etc. except for the last sentence. That part refers to not caring what the ex thinks, but the fact that it has to be written down, points to actually still caring. At least, in my opinion…

So how do we deal?

I think that if we go through a breakup with someone we really loved something inside of us will definitely (temporarily) change. This does not mean that we have to stay broken/changed. We can find ourselves again and rebuild the pieces to become whole once wall around your heartmore.

Just promise yourself this: “Even if I’ve been hurt/ lied to/ cheated on (or whatever) I will not build a wall around my heart.” Because in building that wall around your heart, you’re also preventing someone who does want to do good by you and actually love you, from getting in. Then you will stay alone, wondering why you’re not loved/good enough, when in truth you are priceless and someone who sees that value does try to love you right.