If given the chance, would you redo your life?

I saw a picture with a question on Facebook:

Imagine this:

You wake up and you are back in kindergarten.
Your whole life was a dream and you have to start over.
Would you be angry or happy?

Happy

My first thought was that I’d be happy because I’d get to correct mistakes I’ve made happyin my life and change my path for the better.

In addition, I’d get to relive the “simpler” days. My childhood. Hang out with friends that I’ve lost contact with throughout the years… I’d get to practice the sports I stopped practicing again…

I would have a lot to be happy about.

Angry

Then I thought about all the studies I’d have to redo, the subjects that I have angryforgotten through the years and for which I would have to take tests for again.

I also thought of the hardships I’ve had to face and eventually got through. These struggles helped form me and they helped make me stronger.
So if I undid all of that by living differently, who would I be now?

In conclusion

So in conclusion: I would be very angry if I had to redo my life because I have made We need the good and the badmy mistakes and faced hardships, but I learned from them. I think I’m a better/stronger person because of what I had to go through in my life.

However, I’m not saying that my life has been all about difficult moments. Of course I’ve had amazing times too. Fun with friends, great times in relationships, amazing and proud moments in sports, music and of course school too. Loveable moments with family and even my pets, etc.

In life you need to have both good times and bad. The good times make you confident and the bad times help you grow and learn. The bad times are also there to teach you how to appreciate the good times. So just like flowers and trees need rain as well as sunlight, we also need both the good and bad in our life.

Disney lyrics that teach us how to deal with stress

As I mentioned in my previous post, song lyrics often contain (hidden) messages we can learn from. This is also the case in Disney lyrics. In this post, I will name some Disney songs that teach us not to stress and about how to focus on what’s important in life. There are a bunch of Disney songs that teach us other valuable lessons too, but today we’re just focusing on the ones that teach us how to deal with stress.

Disney lyrics that teach us not to stress

Stressing is bad for us; we all know that. Yet, we let influences that we have no control over stress us. I found a few Disney songs that teach us not to stress.

Have you ever listened closely to the song “Bare Necessities” from The Jungle Book?
This song starts out with the following lyrics:

Bare necessitiesLook for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature’s recipes
That bring the bare necessities of life

The beginning of the song says enough, in my opinion. Just look for the things that you need most in life. Get those and for the rest, don’t worry. If you listen to the rest of the song about the “prickly pear”, the song also teaches you to learn from your mistakes.

Another phrase in the song is “The bare necessities of life will come to you”. This can be linked to a bible verse:

Luke 12:24 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest, they don’t have storerooms or barns, but God feeds them. And you are worth much more than birds.

Luke 12:24

In other words, you have nothing to worry about, because you will always get what you need in life. It doesn’t say that you won’t have to work for it, but if you do what needs to be done, you will get the “bare necessities”.

Another Disney song that says pretty much the same thing is “Hakuna Matata” from The Lion King. A reoccurring sentence in this song is “It means no worries for the rest of your days”. So hey, we have no control over certain things so we shouldn’t worry about them. We should just live a stress free life.

How Disney teaches us how to deal with stress and make the best of what we’re given

Yet another Disney song teaches us to live stress free lives. I’m referring to “Why should I worry” from Oliver and Company:

Why should I worry - Oliver and companyI’m streetwise
I can improvise
Why should I worry?
Why should I care?
But once you get it down
Then you can own this town
You can wear the crown

Granted, in the lyrics above, I cut out some pieces to prove the not-worrying-point. Yet, if you look at these words and you really think about it, this song goes even further than just telling us not to worry. It even tells us why we shouldn’t worry or stress. We’ve all got some “street smarts” in us and we all got some creativity so we can improvise. Once we’ve found the way to use our skills, we can “own this town and wear the crown”.

ConclusionAs you can see, the Disney movies are not just for entertainment; they teach us valuable life lessons too. So keep watching Disney movies and learn from them!

The accuracy of the lyrics from the Friends theme song

I recently started watching the TV show Friends (again). While listening to the soundtrack I realized that it’s actually quite depressing.

So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, you’re love life’s DOA.
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

Although in a way, many of us feel this way at some point in our lives. I mean if you look at it rationally:

  • “Your job is a joke”
    Many of us don’t find our dream job and if we do, usually the pay is bad or the coworkers/bosses are horrible. So you could say that at least one job in our life will be or has been a joke.
  • “You’re broke”
    I don’t think I need to elaborate on this. If you weren’t born rich, you have at some point in your life probably been broke.
  • friends scene“You love life’s DOA”
    For those of you who don’t know what “DOA” means: Dead On Arrival
    Although this may seem grim, many of us don’t (easily) find the love of our lives early on. When we keep trying, sometimes our relationships are dead even before they can properly start…

I actually find it ironic how accurate these lyrics are, even now after the show has ended for about 12 years. There’s a lot we can learn from TV shows. Sadly, usually we only realize this after something we’ve been warned about in the form of a TV show or song has already happened to us.

Maybe it’s something to think about to pay more attention when watching TV or listening to music. Because even though the songs/ films are made as entertainment, they usually contain a valuable lesson that we can all learn from.

In my next blog, I will elaborate on some Disney lyrics that we can all learn from…

How to become a grown up in love

I read a text on Facebook that said:

Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times. Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. Once you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.

The best friend-affair

While reading about the three people you should fall in love with, I got to thinking. I’ve met them all already. The part about the best friend is true. It seems like a good idea at first, but when the troubles start and you don’t have your best friend to go to anymore, you start to realize what a big mistake it was starting a relationship with that person.

Falling for someone you think is perfect

I don’t completely agree with falling in love with someone you think is perfect and someone who is just like you. mirrorFor me, these two were in one package. I thought he was super handsome, smart, funny, chill… in short: I thought he was perfect. This made me change myself for him so that I would never lose him. And you should never change yourself for someone because other than that you eventually won’t recognize the person you’ve become, neither will the person you changed for. That might make them leave, because this version 2.0 might not be what they wanted in their life.

thinking smileySideline: Now that I think about it, the fact that I thought that someone who was just like me was perfect, might mean that I think I’m perfect too…

Falling in love with someone who is just like you

So as I mentioned, this guy was just like me in many ways. In the beginning, it was interesting. I saw how he was and drew conclusions about how I am. Sometimes I had the thought “is this what my ex had to put up with?!” So in some way I did get to know myself better. However, when eventually your bad qualities come out at the same time, that’s where the problems start. This is because in an argument someone has to cave. And if neither person backs down, the problems won’t get solved. Unless you have a system where you just don’t talk immediately and explain your point when you’re both cooled off. I have to say though, that I’m not a big fan of this approach. I say: in a relationship, you should never go to bed angry. Talk to each other.

About the rest of the article… It says that by being with “yourself-in-another-body” you also learn who you want to be. This may be true, but at the same time it also teaches you about who you don’t want to be.

And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most.

Who we hurt, who hurts us and what we should do

Unfortunately I cannot disagree with that. While you’re trying your best not to mess up, you eventually mess up big time. This hurts the people who care about you and needed you the most, which can make them leave (to protect their own feelings) which will hurt you as well (if you really cared about them too). My opinion is that we should live more “carefree and honest” with each other and not judge one another. We should remember that everyone makes mistakes and that if a person feels comfortable around you and not judged, they will be very honest with you. I repeat: Do not judge them, because the honesty might end if you do.

Just love

peace and loveAs the article says: “everyone only wants to be loved”. If we keep hurting each other, we’re creating a cycle. You hurt me, so I become guarded and I hurt someone else, who in turn hurts another person and so on and so forth. Let’s just love each other. This is one thing that we can definitely learn from “hippies”!

Peace and love ya’ll…

Does wrongfully managing a man’s feelings always get you dumped?

I read a blog today about women having to manage men’s feelings ALL THE TIME. And even though this is not something I had put much thought into, the article, which is generally about politics, sheds some interesting light on the subject of how women change themselves to make a man happy.

I’ve actually lost a relationship because of “wrongfully managing a man’s feelings”.

emotional abuseAn interesting example of something that happens quite often to women: You’re in a relationship with a man who is insecure about himself (only God knows why, because he’s cute, funny, smart, etc.). Because of his insecurity, he doesn’t want you talking to other men. For a while, to keep the relationship “happy and safe”, you do as he asks and you stop contacting your male friends. After a while, you start feeling messed up about ignoring someone who has been there for you for years and you start contacting these male friends again. You do so on the down low because you don’t want “honey” to get angry. Eventually he finds out and breaks up with you because he thinks men and women can’t be just friends so you must be cheating on him.

This happens to a lot of us. Maybe on some extent it is true that men and women can’t be just friends because feelings come into play. But isn’t it our choice to decide what we do with these feelings? no friendsIn general, women don’t (just) think with their vagina’s. We are made so that we often think with our hearts, but the smart ones among us combine this “heart thinking” with actually using our brains.

I have also seen countless videos where men say that their woman is not allowed to have male friends. The main reason they name is that those friends will lend a shoulder to cry on to eventually get into the woman’s pants. In some cases, patient men really do use that strategy. However, men in general don’t have that much patience. Therefore, if they really want to sleep with their “friend” they will drop a hint (on purpose or by accident) which shows their true nature. Then it’s up to the woman to decide what she does with this knowledge. If a man is reading this, I’m sure he’s thinking: “drop the friend. End all contact with him.” But is this really the best option? Can’t a woman just let her “friend” know that she’s not interested in him in that way?

I’ve had this discussion with a man recently. He said: “If you dangle a bone in front of a Pitbull and you tell him not to eat it, do you think he’ll stay away from the bone?” cavemanI found this to be an interesting metaphor. Because that suggests that men can’t think for themselves when they “like” something they see. This refers to a primal instinct of cavemen who would just take what they wanted, not caring about what the object of their desire thinks about it. Are men in this century still thinking like cavemen? Haven’t they evolved? If a woman (who let’s say just got her heart broken) throws herself at a “friend” who is sexually interested in her, then yes, you can’t blame the man for listening to his nether region. But if the woman just uses his shoulder to cry on, we got to have faith in humanity and believe that this male “friend” will truly be just that – a friend – and not try to rape her (to be extreme).

For the men and women reading this, I’d love to see your take on the matter. Feel free to comment.