Every girl/woman knows this feeling: that gut feeling that something isn’t right or that something is going to end. Sometimes we ignore that feeling, but we shouldn’t. We should embrace it. Because this exact feeling is never wrong. It is our intuition warning us.
Men, when they feel something is ending, they sometimes try to avoid it. “Avoiding the inevitable”. That just makes things worse when after a few weeks/months/years you finally both talk about it and see that that’s the best thing to do.
We just keep hurting each other by keeping quiet, not communicating. Why we do this, I don’t know. I recently read a post about something that apparently all women do and that some aren’t even consciously aware about. The post was about “de-escalation and minimizing.” The article was mostly about how women react to conversations about dress codes, rape culture and sexism, but in my opinion it also has to do with how we react in relationships. We let many things that men do just “slide” because he’s a man and he’s “entitled to it”.
If a woman for example feels the need to go out every weekend and just chill with friends, go out dancing or have some cocktails, she’s seen as a “party girl” – not meant in a positive sense! People are then quick to assume that she has sex with strangers regularly or that she’s “loose”. While it is possible that there are girls or women out there, who behave this way, not all women/girls are the same.
If men on the other hand regularly feel the need to go out and “grab a few beers with the guys,” for example, his woman has to accept it. If she says something about it, she’s “the old ball and chain” and the couple gets in fights because the man feels tied down. Why can’t men see that, while there are some body parts that make us either a woman or a man, we have the same feelings, the same needs. It is not fair that as a woman you get judged differently just because you’re a woman and you have to stick to etiquettes, moral codes. Who gets to decide how we behave or what we should or should not feel?
That’s why my advice to all women is:
- Say what’s on your mind, even if your first instinct is to keep quiet about it because your man might get angry.
- Trust your gut feeling.
- If something feels off, discuss it.
- If it’s time to leave, end it.
Don’t keep hurting yourself because you’re afraid of the unknown!